The Den IRL

JigokuBosatsu · Post by **JigokuBosatsu** » Wed Sep 18, 2013 1:17 am

The family was out strolling and getting groceries. We were on the way back and from the next street over was a ridiculously loud old jalopy horn. Amelia (age 4.5), who had been going ahead of us, came running back at full speed and said "What the WHAT was that? GIANT FROG?!??!?!"

Anyone else have any brushes with stuff like that? Magic tea parties with your dowager aunt? Denizen brand pants?

erik · Post by **erik** » Wed Sep 18, 2013 1:58 am

This fills me with a desire to videotape my four and a half year old saying "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. Suck a barrel of cocks."

It would be adorable.

Sadly, no Dentrusions into RL for my family. Yet.

Cynic · Post by **Cynic** » Wed Sep 18, 2013 2:11 am

erik wrote:This fills me with a desire to videotape my four and a half year old saying "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. Suck a barrel of cocks."

It would be adorable.

Youtube that and send the link to all her grandparents.

---

Uma (7.5 year old) was trying to answer questions (question answers?) from a taped Kids Jeopardy episode. She heard the clue "This game has the dagger, the rope, and the revolver as weapons."* She scoffed at the easy question and gave the proper answer of "What is D&D?"

Apparently Alex Trebeck thought it was Clue. Geez.

*Or something to that effect.

Maxus · Post by **Maxus** » Wed Sep 18, 2013 2:44 am

"Stab him in the face" has crept into my vocabulary.

Meikle641 · Post by **Meikle641** » Wed Sep 18, 2013 3:01 am

Told someone to suck a barrel of cocks once. It fit with the conversation, at least. lulz were had by all.

"Stab him in the face" is a definite for vocabulary, though.

AndreiChekov · Post by **AndreiChekov** » Wed Sep 18, 2013 6:28 am

My nephews and niece now call make-believe magic tea party.

...You Lost Me · Post by **...You Lost Me** » Wed Sep 18, 2013 7:22 am

I personally try to use all of the above with my gaming group, plus I use that one quote from DSM:

"Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. I am filled with an unfathomable hatred."

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Wed Sep 18, 2013 7:32 am

I mutter that at least once a week, I think, YLM.

I overheard someone at my FLGS refer to aasimar/tiefling as "badtouched races" and had to go over and find out who posts on the Den. Sadly, there was no opportunity to interrupt the conversation.

Kaelik · Post by **Kaelik** » Wed Sep 18, 2013 12:46 pm

I am relatively well known amongst my friends for often saying "Eat a Dick" or "Suck a Barrel of Cocks."

Grek · Post by **Grek** » Wed Sep 18, 2013 1:46 pm

Who could possibly have guessed.

Kaelik · Post by **Kaelik** » Wed Sep 18, 2013 2:21 pm

Grek wrote:Who could possibly have guessed.

There is no particular reason to believe I would use the same terms in both locations.

For example, I don't think I have ever spoken the words "monkey fuck retarded" aloud in that order.

echoVanguard · Post by **echoVanguard** » Wed Sep 18, 2013 2:36 pm

Despite my best efforts, "murderhobo" has crept into my common lexicon.

echo

JigokuBosatsu · Post by **JigokuBosatsu** » Wed Sep 18, 2013 3:12 pm

I have portmanteau'd "murder hobo" and "stab in the face" to "murder in the face." As in, "People who lick their fingers before turning a page should be murdered in the face with a giant wet finger." <-- Actual quote from me during a work meeting.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Wed Sep 18, 2013 5:28 pm

Kaelik wrote:
Grek wrote:Who could possibly have guessed.
There is no particular reason to believe I would use the same terms in both locations.

For example, I don't think I have ever spoken the words "monkey fuck retarded" aloud in that order.

There's also no particular reason to believe you have friends, other than your past statements about acting differently offline than online.

PoliteNewb · Post by **PoliteNewb** » Wed Sep 18, 2013 5:29 pm

Thus far, my kids are not even aware that The Den exists, and I think I'll keep it that way for a little bit.

Although the GIANT FROG! and Jeopardy anecdotes were both cute and hilarious, so thanks for that.

JigokuBosatsu · Post by **JigokuBosatsu** » Wed Sep 18, 2013 5:40 pm

The nice thing is that I don't think I have ever uttered the words "Giant Frog" to her in any context. She just knew. My lil' neckbeard.

Red Archon · Post by **Red Archon** » Wed Sep 18, 2013 5:51 pm

I hope this won't turn into "The Kids Say the Darndest Things," but my only brush was when I simply couldn't make my then five-year-old nephew to understand that when playing the same game, the wizard and the warrior have to be equally powerful. And his reaction was a sincere: "But the wizard knows magic. He can shoot lightning and fly. The warrior can't be as powerful, he just hits things."

Cynic · Post by **Cynic** » Thu Sep 19, 2013 5:05 am

I have several kid anecdotes related to gaming and, tangentially, the den. But, I shall keep them to myself since a buzzkill named Red Archon hates children.

/dickhead-dad.
--

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Thu Sep 19, 2013 5:39 am

I've used the "go suck a barrel of cocks/you can help yourself to a steaming bowl of dicks" fairly frequently. You know, at job interviews and such.

Hicks · Post by **Hicks** » Thu Sep 19, 2013 7:13 am

My wife confidied with a friend that someone should die in a fire. That someone was her boss, and she was totally fired that same day. 18 months and an expired restraining order later, I am the sole breadwinner of my household; I bring home about half what she did.